National Poetry Day Rant

I don’t get it, never have, never will.
Dog in the street day. Don’t get it. Yet, still
It comes around every year, a day like all the rest
except on this day it feels like a test…
Create something new (but with meaning)
Let people know which way you’re leaning
The left are loonies, the right are scum
No, no, the right are loonies, the left are scum
The middle just tum-tiddly-um-tum
I wasted time creating that but it’s okay
because it’s touch yourself gently day
or some such thing that allows you to pleasure
yourself doing something you treasure
releasing pain and hate and bile
sharing love, warmth, a knowing smile
allowing others inside your head
showing them where you lie, your filthy bed
you made yourself with guilt and shame
dirtied with no one else to blame
taking time out to rant and rave about injustice
absolutely refusing to say It. Just. Is.
screaming at the tele
from deep in the belly
“HOW CAN THEY TREAT US SO?”
“DOES SHE THINK THIS IS A DISCO?”
“THEY ARE DRAINING THE POOL.”
“I AM NOT YOUR F IN FOOL.”
It’s okay I know the truth, no one needs further proof.
There is nothing left to deny, there is no need to cry.
The rich are taking all they can from all the people of this land.
Killing the poor and not getting caught because they do it by…default.
A cut here, a boundary there and all that death is out of their hair.
The workers are next by cheek and jowl, by means nefarious and foul.
Taxes first, then higher prices for smaller, smaller then slimmer slices
of a pie they don’t even own. Don’t protest please don’t moan.
Okay if you must but we need to secure your trust
tell us where and when you want to and we’ll treat you like the cunt who
we most despise; (intelligent workers are not dependable) fuck the wise
dumb them down, destroy their mind and one day you’ll find
that I’m alright jack is the norm for anyone in England born
Even though they’ve got no fresh food, no clean water to cleanse their brood
just the junk the Americans gorge on and around their ghetto a Palestinian cordon.
They’re building the wall inside our brain with each click on the media train.
Sorry I drift, I meander, sometimes I stray
but it’s alright, it’s #NationalPoetryDay

Truth Abuse Love

They want me to tell the truth.
They want me to hurl abuse
but I’m sober and guilt-ridden
so I keep my mouth shut, click the link,
auto-fill my details and share the page.

They want me to tell the truth.
They want me to hurl abuse
but I’m tired and I’m scared
so I keep my mouth shut, look away from the jails
and go back to my cage.

I want to tell the truth, I want to hurl abuse
But not at Jews, Muslims, Infidels or Christians
Not at Blacks, Whites or Buddhists.
They don’t deserve my rage.
It’s the greedy leaders, the money lenders, the contract owners
who run this world we sometimes call a stage

that hide all access to the truth
that tell me what is deemed abuse.
They tell me what is naughty, decide if I am being nice,
tell me what my choice is
but I have pen and page.

My truth is that I’m governed
by those who happily abuse
I profit from their violence
enjoy the luxuries made by slaves.

If I tell the truth, if I hurl abuse
it must not be at my equals
but at those who want me in my grave.

Love Addiction

A Mother’s love ignored
A Child’s idea of love destroyed
‘Cos you both know the other’s tough.
A lover’s love shared and diminished.
Virtual love is never quite finished.
The house of cards is falling,
the wolves are close and calling…
Addictions come, go and return afresh.
You’re caught in your man-made mesh.
You asked for help and none came
so all your problems are still the same.
The darkness looms in all the rooms.
Memories only serve to remind
that every memento will only find
a way to let you know how wrong
you’ve been for far too long.
The games you played.
The cum you sprayed.
The lack of trust.
The friends you cussed.
The secret smiles
now defiled
were full of honest pleasure.
You threw away each treasure
for a moment of fool’s gold
and now you have nothing left to hold.

Trump ‘most amazing wizard of all time’.

They’ve pulled the curtain back, back there in Oz
They’ve pulled it back well…because…
They’re losing control of the slaves and the drones
They’re numbing them with shit on their phones
Dulling them with pictures of death and destruction
But they’re refusing to follow the instruction
So… They’ve pulled the curtain back, back there in Oz
They’ve pulled it back, well, you see, there was..
A chance of peace, a world full of joy
Where it wasn’t bad to be a girl or a boy
A synching of hearts was on the agenda
The whole world on a good honest bender
But they pulled the curtain back, back there in Oz
They had to pull it back, well, I don’t want to offend any of your Gods…
The truth of ‘God is within you.’ slipped into the hearts and minds
And worked it’s magic on humans, all kinds
They are here among us, they do not ask for cash
They do very little that is wasteful and nothing that is flash
They do not worship anything or have more than any other
They treat each other human as a sister or a brother
The gathering is happening even as they try to rule
If you think they’ve pulled the curtain back then you may be a fool.

Broken Heartbeat

My heart broke
I heard the snap as the love seeped then gushed out.
As time froze, so did it.
The warmth vacated its space,
left in the eye of the hurricane
and disappeared in that moment.
Yet still I breathed.
I saw your truth and the crack widened.
Yet I still breathed.
I saw your pity
and the last drop of ‘loved’
fell from the chasm
that showed my soul
and the ripples split us in two.
I still breathed.
As you walked away I tried to speak
but my breathing stopped
I heard my broken heart beating,
my broken heart beating for love,
but not for you
and I breathed again.

A Life Worth Living?

I’ve pleaded with my heart to stop beating
Begged for my lungs to stop breathing
Wished for my eyes to shut for the last time.
Claimed death as my only goal
Asked the Devil to devour my soul
Prayed for God to punish my crime.

I’ve wanted love to leave me cold
For my family ties to let go of their hold
Given reason to violent men to end my life.
Pushed away all chance of hope
Admitted that I really can’t cope
Caressed my wrists with a cold, sharp knife.

I’ve been dizzy with desire at the water’s edge
Trusted the wind on the highest ledge
Not cared which way I’d fall.
Allowed speeding traffic to make my choice
Been silent when I could’ve used my voice.
Responded positively to suicide’s call.

But I’ve changed the way my hatred works
I’ve taken it off me and given it to jerks
Decided I’m worth each breath I take.
Planned ahead for the first time in years
Allowed joy to be the reason for my tears
Accepted that part of my life was…just a mistake.

I’m sharing these thoughts with freedom from pain
Knowing I’m far from being happy or sane
Controlled each moment is all that I’ve done.
Loving isn’t the only way I spend my days
But, I’m hoping this happiness stays
I’m enjoying the silliness, the smiles and the fun.

Last year speed thingy

I danced with the shadows and the moon, drank with the devil and the loon.
Played with the fairies, laughed with the elves, drank until I was one of my ‘other’ selves.
I listened with my heart to the stories of the old until a memory was pranged and then a story I told.
I swam with mermaids and stared from the shore, made love with angels and gently kissed a whore.
In the darkness I found strength but left it in my soul, if I’d have left the house jail would have been my goal.
I carried, lugged, carted, dragged and pushed, encouraged, cajoled, enjoyed and sometimes ‘shushed’!
I applauded courage harder than skill, applauded bravery more than those that stood still.
Let myself open up to the ways of the heart, realised that from some people I really had to part.
Decided to try harder to let the inside out and if I saw something wrong at least fucking shout.
Loved without commitment, without shame, without desire, turned the darkest part of me into fuel for my fire.
Chased rainbows, raindrops, the last of the evening sun, found out that all of us are all a part of one.
Denied some pleasures just to make the wrong things right (which gave me a better feeling which surely isn’t right?).
I let love in, love go, love rule, love live, love be, let myself be loved (which wasn’t easy.).
I let hate leave, hate wait, hate die, hate be loved which made me a bit queasy.
I danced in the rain, in the sun, I danced when music there was none.
I danced with strangers, on trains, in the fields and the stage, I danced like someone half my age.
I sang without fear, with pride, in unison and alone, I sang into mics, over crowds, I even sang into my phone.
I wrote without thinking the feelings in my head, when I looked at the words they filled me with dread.
Yet I read them out not caring for myself just hoping that the words would connect with someone else.
I cried with good reason, sobbed my heart out truth be told, because someone’s warmth had connected with my cold.
I stepped up, moved out, moved in, moved around, gave away, lost, located. Somethings will never be found.
I spoke up, spoke out, kept shtum, whispered in hushed tones, shouted loud, laughed a lot and turned off my fucking phone.
Listened to the quiet ones who sit quietly on the side, held the upset quietly as quietly they cried.
I watched out, saw nothing, saw it all, peeked around corners and snuck a peek over the wall.
I touched gently, squeezed with all my might, lay still hoping that they might.
I smelled the grass after rain, aromas that followed songs, smelled some righteous things and many, many wrongs.
I saw the writing on the wall, watched in slo-mo as friends fell, I looked at the furthest star and stared down a bottomless well.
I felt the reason for the living and the pain of death so close, but they survived so no need to feel morose.
I don’t feel like a success, nor do I feel I failed, but now last year will slowly start to pale.

Inspirational Superhero

Inspirational. A mixture of inspire and rational. The thing about that is; once inspired, rational thinking goes out the window.
With that in mind:
Can I cause you to follow a dream you had, to make you into a better version of your Dad?
Will I make you take stock of your life to be a ‘better’ Wife?
What if my words lingered in your mind and in days you find yourself ‘doing the right thing’? That you pick up that dusty instrument and start (again) to sing?
What if old passions were inflamed by my words and how they were framed?
Let’s say I painted pictures with my words and you saw a farmer with a herd. Are you going to leave your nine to five, pack your car, drive, drive and drive until you reach the countryside and when you get to somewhere quaint unpack your car and paint?
Should what I say remind you of a time when you were free, will you quit your life as it is shouting “I’M NOT BEING ME!”
What if, in this little verse I said “There is nothing worse; then not following your dream.”would your heart give a little scream at the memories of your youth, that halcyon summer spent in the DJ’s booth.
Would a flashback come to mind of when you used to write in rhyme? That instrument you played, how did it get waylaid?
Did you invent a thing but didn’t get a patent?
What dreams are in you but unfortunately latent?
I want to bring your passion to the fore so when you get home and go through your bathroom door; stand in front of the mirror, stare at your own face, smile and think about your place in this humdrum world, think about the universe through which you’re being hurled, realise your strengths, confidence and slightly selfish part, notice the swelling of the good bit of your heart, focus all your energy on the ‘bestest’ bits of you and really understand that you can be SUPERYOU!

What’s on my mind facebook?

 

What’s on my mind?

 

I think, you’re likely to find…

 

Madness, sadness, gladness, badness

 

Family, friends, fucking and fun, fracking, freaks, fares, all rolled into one

 

Missed opportunities, my dead father, my dying Mum

 

The happy fact that I don’t know ANY women who like sex in their bum

 

Being forced into corners, being treated like shit

 

Missing old friends, even those that I treated like shit

 

Things out of my control, the state of my soul

 

Wishing I had a LONG TERM GOAL, realising I’m stuck in a hole

 

Yoga, boxing, the football I played

 

The times that I left when I should have stayed

 

The times when I stayed when I should have gone

 

Leaving ‘things’ just a moment too long

 

The last ‘first kiss’, the touches I miss, light fingered strokes

 

An Aroma that lingered after it choked

 

When will I eat, who will I meet, how can I cheat, is that smell my feet?

 

My Mother again, my brothers and friends

 

My children are constant, my happiness distant

 

My problems are many, my joys there are few

 

What’s on my mind?

 

Well when I take a look, most of it’s filled with the walls on Facebook

 

Moments of Calm

Life will offer you choices

Moments in time, tiny misheard voices

They offer you options to take

And these decisions you make

CAN TAKE YOU EVERYWHERE

The loves that you feel

Are real, each one; real

The feelings you have, are pure

You do not need to be alone or find a cure

THAT WILL NOT TAKE YOU ANYWHERE

You need to share your emotions

Don’t just ‘go through the motions’

Allow your feelings to be heard, allow them out

Before they force you to scream, to run and shout;

I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE

Whatever you love;

Music, song, sport, games on boards or on a court, acting, climbing, playing the fool, building or even running a school, helping, sharing, connecting the dots, fine art, controlling the traffic or painting beautiful spots.

Allow that pleasure to be your soul

Don’t worry about life’s ‘Big goal’

Envelop yourself in this positive vibe

Stay on board this beautiful ride

IT CAN TAKE YOU EVERYWHERE

Stay calm, collected, creatively cool

Allow yourself to be your own tool

Repairing your heart by facing the day

Controlling your mind in a positive way

IT CAN TAKE YOU ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE

Every chance you get to lift your head

Get out, get dressed, get out of bed

Phone, text, email your mates

Hoover, dust, put away the plates

YOU DON’T HAVE TO STAY THERE

Yes, you are in pain, life is unfair

Life is not like the funfair

(They are out there, if you want a go)

Now, though, is the time to show

THAT YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE

Express your fears, share your pain

Liken it to ‘pouring rain’

Grab these moments by the balls

While you’re not crawling up the walls

THAT STOPPED YOU GOING ANYWHERE

There’s no need to shout “REJOICE! REJOICE!”

But to open up and allow your voice

To ask: for help, for company

To take a walk or share some tea

WE ARE EVERYWHERE