Broken Heartbeat

My heart broke
I heard the snap as the love seeped then gushed out.
As time froze, so did it.
The warmth vacated it’s space,
left in the eye of the hurricane
and disappeared in that moment.
Yet still I breathed.
I saw your truth and the crack widened.
Yet I still breathed.
I saw your pity
and the last drop of ‘loved’
fell from the chasm
that showed my soul
and the ripples split us in two.
I still breathed.
As you walked away I tried to speak
but my breathing stopped
I heard my broken heart beating,
my broken heart beating for love,
but not for you
and I breathed again.

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Thank you to the ‘Last Ever’ Secret Garden Party via Lost Horizon Sauna & Solar Stage

I’ve been to The Secret Garden Party for the last 5 Years with Lost Horizon and this was without doubt the best one, even though it rained for most of it! I’d heard regulars on other years complaining about the lack of walkabout theatre and random fun things being missing, well they seem to have brought all the good things back for their last hurrah and everyone was glad they did.
I saw the sparkle planes, the fireworks (from just beside the dj booth), a lot of bands, most importantly Toots & The Maytals on The Great Stage, then saw the last band in The Lost Woods…

Lost Horizon’s space was welcoming and lovely.

Ned Dylan, Avalon Jones, Oscar Mic, Dion Deverill, , Maya’s Shakra Wordshop, Pete Pendragon, Pasha Ball, Treva Who, Zu Crew via Felix, Edd Keene, Tamsin (Solana), Coral May, Love and Daisy Petals, Sophie Kilbey, H#, Emily & Rowen, Death Metal Maraccas, Shamanic & Lucy (Lucid Tales), Ecstatic Dance workshops, Circus workshop, Amber’s yoga every morning, plus all the fireside performers and the open micers that graced our wonderful space at the last Secret Garden Party. Yes, it rained quite a bit but we didn’t mind as the tipis were full of wonderful people having a marvellous time. Thank you all for your performances, support and love. Special thanks to Johnny for his tireless work behind the sound desk making sure everyone sounded like they wanted to.
I’m still not clean and don’t really want to be…
Looking forward to seeing all the Lost Horizon Crew and family soon.

 

Carl Chamberlain. Poet. One of the 100 men in Manhood: the bare reality.

My friend Ant Smith wrote a poem about his penis, it’s called ‘Shorty’ and it describes his penis. He performed the poem and recorded it. It went viral. Many men contacted him saying thank you, asking for information and he made many connections solely on this subject. He decided to throw a party: The Big Small Penis Party and it was a great success. I know because I was involved from the beginning.
Laura Dodsworth a photographer and storyteller was looking for men to be involved in a project and via Ant we were connected. I understood immediately the point of view Laura was coming from and agreed to participate. https://www.facebook.com/pinterandmartin/photos/a.137908107784.125675.23453312784/10156231365082785/?type=3
My part in the project was the same as everyone else, turn up, have my penis photographed (get dressed) and talk about masculinity and my penis.
During the interview I realised that I had a poem about manhood that I’d just written, inspired by Grayson Perry’s article in The Guardian ’12 steps to being a modern man’ and I asked Laura if she’d like to hear it. She did. She enjoyed it. In fact Laura tweeted it to her followers. I was very proud. https://calmcarl.wordpress.com/2016/05/10/manly-men-take-coke-drink-to-excess-and-have-sex-adult-themes/
When Laura asked if she could include one of my poems in ‘Manhood’ I was flabbergasted and said yes without another thought.
The poem in Manhood was inspired by Lee Button’s invitation to perform at an event that was Incandescent Artists’ celebration of London’s Comic Con hence the SuperYou… https://calmcarl.wordpress.com/2014/10/23/inspirational-superhero/

Carl Chamberlain. Poet.
Looks great.

World Poetry Day poem for UNESCO

One world, one heartbeat, one breath.
There may be a time when there’s nothing left.
Until then should we fight to own what isn’t ours?
Should we kill, maim and consume until it’s all devoured?
Or is love the answer to all our ills?
Forget about leaving what belongs to our family in our wills?
Could we perhaps begin to share?
Is that the way to show we care?
Who do we owe? Who owns What?
You put a flag on it? I don’t give a jot.
Is pacifism a natural state?
Or is it natural to be full of hate?
You were born in another place, your skin is different, so’s the shape of your face, but that’s about it for the differences I can see, okay, your hair looks ‘weird’ to me, but your heart beats, lungs breathe, tongue tastes, skin feels, eyes look into mine, if you were me, you’d be fine.
Why should you have what I have not when we were born on the same plot?
The few who know the truth hide their shame so they can continue to play this win/lose game.
With the many used to score points by death.
One world, one heartbeat, one breath.
There may be a time when there’s nothing left.

Anti-Valentine’s

 

Boy tells girl he likes her, she responds that she likes him too.
They remain friends perhaps become more.

 

Boy tells girl he likes her, on St. Valentine’s Day, in a secret card, she never finds out who it’s from. They remain friends although boy now has a secret and everything turns to shit in his mind and their friendship is forever broken.

Boy tells girl he likes her, on St. Valentine’s Day, due to pressure from outside influences he proposes, badly, because he isn’t ready, there is incredible awkwardness, a ‘No, Sorry.’ They rarely see each other again and when they do the memory burns between them, him wondering who else knows and her wondering if he really meant it. They die unhappy and alone. 

 

Boy tells girl he likes her, on St. Valentine’s Day by card with his name and number on the card with a yes or no choice, she takes a picture and puts it on facebook as a poll and boy has to change number of his work phone. The poll was 98% to 2% negative, the girl agrees with the poll and deletes him. 

 

Boy tells girl he likes her, on St. Valentine’s Day, she gets wrong message, ‘cos of the secrecy and intensity mistakes it happily, for a ringless proposal and begins planning wedding. Boy unable to hurt her feelings goes along with it until 2 nights before the wedding when he cops off with her cousin who is over for the nuptials. There’s murder between all the families and hatred forever more.

 

Fuck St. Valentine, tell them now and have a relaxed night out tomorrow.

 

Surprise your partner today by going through your fb friendship history, finding a really good day and tell them all the reasons you felt it was such a good day.

 

Fuck St. Valentine. Do it today!

 

 

 

 

 

You may have put your partner through some shit. What that actually means is they put up with your shit and you stopped doing that sort of shit. Remind them how sorry  you are that you did that shit and how grateful you are that they put up with that shit. DO NOT DWELL HERE.

 

Fuck St Valentine. Do it today.

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Where You Are. Think about your partner.

 

Take yourself out of their life…Are they happy?

 

If they are, carry on.

 

If not, give yourself the chance to hear why.

 

Bring the subject of what you perceive to be the reason for their unhappiness by saying “I think you’re unhappy because…”

 

Fuck St Valentine. Do it now.

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re wondering how you’re going to get pleasured on Tuesday, cheat: Pleasure your partner today and every day leading up to Valentine’s in every conceivable way so you’ve earned it but are too fucking knackered to do owt but sleep.

 

Fuck St Valentine. Do it today.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you know that your partner has a favourite flower and you know what it is?

 

Then why aren’t there any in a vase where they can see it

 

Fuck St Valentine. Do it today.

 

 

 

 

 

Sleeping through the snooze alarm…

Sleeping through the snooze alarm…sleeping through the snooze alarm…sleeping through the snooze alarm…waking….

FAR TOO FUCKING LATE!

Another appointment missed, another chance gone.

Another day ruined. Another relationship done.

If you’re trying to sabotage yourself, Job done.

You knew you had to get up early, why’d you go to bed so late?

The night weren’t exactly jumping, the company weren’t that great.

Everyone telling stories, everyone’s already heard, it’s not as if anyone was hanging on your every word but, everyone heard you say “I’ll get another gram.”

Why do you behave like you’re the fucking man?

Porsche aspirations, pushbike pockets, belcher chains and hollow lockets.

Get a drink inside you and the rent can go to hell, that’s your money, you worked hard for it, everyone can tell…

The vultures gather round before you realise what’s gone down.

Half a gram is gone and everyone’s moved away, everyone wants to share but no one wants to pay.

The music stops, the lights come up. Someone’s nicked your drink, the barmaid you thought was flirting looks at you like you stink.

The barman tells you firmly it’s time for you to go, you think that you could ‘have him’ on another night though.

You pick your coat up from the floor and walk into the cold. The lines of coke, JD’s and pints begin to take their hold.

A wobble happens inside your head and in the world, the options begin quite slowly to unfurl…

Go home, save money, spend all, do more, go home, meet friends, make new ones, increase debt, go home, get more, do more, have a laugh, have a dance, have a line, have a pint….
Sleeping through the snooze alarm.

Shine

Untainted,pure, perfect.

Untarnished,new, fresh.

Unashamed,optimistic, angelic.

We are all at some point, these ‘things’.

There are no rules to what they are because each of us has been them.

Yet, if I, in this moment am (which I’m not), how can you also be?

Inside the light is dark.

A fear, if you like.

Out of the shadows it will appear.

After the light comes the fear.

Fear about not being pure, perfect, untainted.

Fear of not being new, fresh, untarnished.

Fear that you can’t be unashamed, optimistic, angelic.

But you can,because you have been and you are.

In the darkness is your light, perfect, pure, new, fresh, optimistic,angelic, unashamed, untarnished, untainted.

Let your light shine, be the best you can be.

Allow your light to shine.